Monday, July 4, 2022

When In Massachusetts, Never, Ever Do a Cartwheel. It Is a Sign of Devil Worship, Especially If You Choose to Wear Coffee Filters On Your Head.

When I was in 4th grade, two of the classes from Cicero Elementary when to Boston and to Salem. The other two stayed home and visited Cooperstown. I'm not sure what the politics were behind those decisions, and why only 50% of the school went, but I do know that I got a miniature baseball bat souvenir from my trip. I don't remember being resentful; only that I didn't go to this place called Boston. 

Now, I've been to Boston several times professionally since and I love it, but I never made the connection to how close by it is to Portsmouth and Salem, so when Tunga woke up yesterday and had a day planned in Salem, I thought, "Oh. Okay. Let my 4th grade self get a romp around town."

In all seriousness, I couldn't help but have my SNL lens on and seriously want to write a skit on the performers and wax mannequins that were placed in basements of buildings. It was hilarious, not because it was supposed to be funny, but that the script-writing, acting, and mannequins were outrageous. The crowd, too, was very different. Tunga said, "hmmm. I don't think we're in Portsmouth any longer."

And I took way too many pictures - ones I'm unsure what I'll ever do with. Why? The wax storytelling got to my funny bone and I couldn't stop. As usual, I chose to caboose the line, so by the time I saw the images others were seeing during the storytelling, I only had fragments of what was said. Then the images simply cracked me up. "The witches would frolic in the woods, relishing in evil spirts and getting the Puritans all upset." 

Um, a girl was doing a cartwheel. "Hey, is that your mom's D-cup on your noggin?" "No, it's your daddy's Covid-mask."

Bitches I mean witches. Not too sure how far we've come as a society, but definitely can tell who the storytellers have been. 

What a day!