The Fire Ants-Analogy is Accurate, but I Definitely Wouldn't Want It There. I Know We're 4-Weeks in Because the Psoriasis is on Fire Again

My legs have become a human barometer for stress. During the summer months, the most hectic time of the year, my legs clear up and are fine. Most of this is because I'm the Captain of the ship, love the work I get to do, and feel the benefits of working with K-12 teachers and youth in my bones. It's good work and it is rewarding. As soon as we return to the 'normally-scheduled program' of the academic year, however, I can't control the frustration, and it bursts out of me all over my skin.

I tell my dermatologist, "My nature is to be calm, and I try my best to be level-headed, but my body reacts in the best way it knows how." It's defense mechanism is break out in psoriasis, which I inherited from the Ripley side of the family.

I used to have eczema and that was horrible, especially during puberty. But suddenly it disappeared. I didn't have my first outburst of psoriasis, however, until my mid-40s. So weird.

And it does feel like my legs are on fire...like fire ants are biting and burrowing into my skin.

I did an online search for ways to make them subside, and reading about them on the bottom of feet, in scalps, and within ass cracks, did me in. I can't imagine....the spots on my legs are horrific enough. 

Last night while teaching I was thinking that they might burn a hole through my pants...they were that hot. When I got home and put on a pair of shorts and I couldn't believe how red they all were - a glowing of lava. And I know what triggered it all. 

I actually relaxed this weekend, attended a beautiful wedding, wrote for my personal projects in my cabin, and enjoyed nature, life, friends, and my son. 

Returning back to the University life, the emails came, the office was visited, the phone calls and the text arrived, and suddenly I was like, "This is NOT a healthy work environment." 

But it is what it is. I will survive. But I've always been a quest for joy and integrity. You'd think it would be easier to find.

Ah, my legs are on fire. It's caused by stress. It could be worse. I will visit my dermatologist very, very soon. And this morning? I'm going for a walk to think.